Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
