worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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