I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
