'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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