the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize