Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Couch. On fire.
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