why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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