its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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