Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
