Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
