WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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