I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize