fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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