Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize