Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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