I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
