So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
