By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
