you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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