if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
That accounts for only three of the penises
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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