Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
