True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
vagina is talking i cant
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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