We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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