Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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