There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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