just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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