How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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