bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
