If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
