if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
