went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
