So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
