I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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