Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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