he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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