It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
