you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
