would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
