I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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