Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize