just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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