:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
