Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
