he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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