Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
