The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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