Me too!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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