Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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