I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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