i think my tv is drunk
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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