New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
