is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
