I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
