I feel great
I just peed on a car
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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