I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize