i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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