Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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