I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
