...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
